Let's Play Connect

So the debate has continued about whether this baby is boy girl or both, or neither! Hahaha.

No, but, seriously, it looks a boy in ultrasound but has the lines as well of a girl in the pic we have.

So, I am so confused. 

Really, not that I care either way- I would be happy boy or girl as long as my 3 kids get along.

That is what I want more than anything- a beautiful family that gets along great and will stay close forever. Too much to ask? I think not. 

But still, I really want to know! Its driving me crazy and I think partly is harder for me because I am having a harder time connecting to this baby then I did my last two. 

Is this baby just that stubborn? Or just such a cool Berkeley Hippy baby before its born here? Just going with the flow and just being a little bean growing inside me. 

I am feeling you move as I write this and how is it yet that we have not connected as much? I want to know more about you before you are born beautiful baby! 

Tell me more. 

And you know what?

If you want it to be secret between you and I- I am cool with that too! Just let me know. Chances are I will want to share you with my whole world- but you want just a bond between you and I, I am cool with that too. 

I will be happy with you however you decide to grace me, boy girl, VBAC or repeat cesarean, birth defects or normal, healthy or with health problems. I am your mama! It is not only my job, but my heart and soul will pour deeply into you. I hope you know that. I love you already even though I have not seen your face or touched your beautiful toes yet. 

I do want so bad to know who you are- so I can connect with you all the more when you do come. Know, that even as I sleep and walk, I am still happy for the moment you kick me, hiccup inside me, or even make me have lovely pregnancy moments of throwing up a meal you did not like. I am still with love for you and want to connect. 

So just pick up the phone anytime- I am waiting....